Update? What’s that?

“But there’s always something going on at your house” writes one of my “blog fans”. Why no update?

I’ve not really been inspired lately, other than my realization that I have an “artificial orange cheese addiction”.

Doritoes are an invention of the Devil. I know they are. They have to be. They are evil cheezy salty yummy crunchy sin snacks! I bought a “family size” bag at Wally world because , of course, they were a good price. We ate them with our fat free hot dogs on lite buns for lunch. I should have just skipped the hotdogs, as I have somehow convinced myself that the Doritoes could have been a full meal in themselves.

Then, that night, I go to my friend Tanya’s house. She bought Doritoes. Yikes! I think my fingers will be stained orange for some time now. The only thing better than Doritoes (in the orange cheese category…) are the “Toms” brand cheese puffs. You know the ones. They are a house sized bag for like $1.99. Good thing I have to drive into town now to find them or I’d be in trouble. The Doritoes were really tasty followed by the margaret ritas!

I do have a lot of things that I could write about but ya gotta realize, I’m kinda censored by the DH and his JOB. I’d like nothing more than to write about things like ingrown public hair. (intentional typo) LOL Just kidding. I like to save things like that for get-togethers hahaaaaa!!

Really now…

The sump pump is STILL RUNNING, pumping out water. Our house has become legend in the housing maint. world. The plumbers have tall tales they can tell now. “You should have seen how much water was under that house!! I had to wade through 15 feet of water!” DH and I love stepping on the hose to see it gush more. We yell at the kids for doing the same thing too. We are getting a nice-sized swamp out back now, skeeters should be breeding like crazy now.

Ever lose something in your own house? I think I do it weekly. This week it’s one of my “walk away the pounds” dvd’s. The one that uses the purple stretchie. I don’t think I loaned it to anyone… did I? See what happens when you don’t use your exercise videos? They disappear. I think it may has disinigrated, although I’m not sure. Last time I saw it, it was on top of the entertainment center, as I was really going to use it. (I didn’t) DH said he thought he saw it in the kitchen. I’m still looking.

I was in the DQ drive thru with my kids last night (interesting post after that last paragraph huh?) and I saw something that really confused me. Ever see someone and wonder “man or woman”? Enough said….. (bugs me that I can’t stare for 15 minutes to try and figure it out too)

I went to the eye doctor yesterday. I wasn’t as overdue as I thought. My last exam had been Feb 05. I see Dr. Woodmansee. I think his name looks like a yahoo generated screen name. (wood man see)…Anyway, the guy is a total hoot! (just ask Jen as she was tagging along because we had to go get her drivers license renewed so she doesn’t get arrested.) It was Jens lucky day as she got to see my eyeball magnified a million or so times. He wanted to show her the spot in my eye where apparently I am losing pigmentation. She didn’t see it, but said she did. She’s so funny! Doc likes to use huge words, and scary stuff that sound horrible, but mean nothing, just because he thinks it’s cool that he finds neat stuff like that. Anyway, I’m not as blind as I thought so don’t buy me reading glasses to co-ordinate with my favorite shirts, and Jen is glad that it wasn’t a gynecologist appt she went with me too. (if you don’t get that, read back through this paragraph. If you still don’t get it, you’re dumb.)

My son has acquired a creepy friend. Even my son thinks he’s creepy. He was seen hanging (looming) around my backyard yesterday. Creepy stalker friend. Not sure what we are going to do about that……

Did you know that ND no longer puts your weight on your drivers license? Hell, that makes me want to lose mine so I can get another. Interesting people waiting in line yesterday at the DMV. I got to sit and watch people, that was so much better than Jen seeing jumbo eyeball, trust me. We found out too, that Jen apparently looks like someone who knows something. “Just where does that line start, and if I have an appointment for a drivers test do I have to wait?” Just ask Jen because she looks like she might know.

OMG, creepy stalker friend just came to the door. The poor boy looks like he slept in the laundry hamper. Son did not want to “play” with him. For gosh sakes, it’s not even 11, he just got out of bed!!

One of my little girls, don’t remember if it was the 3 or 5 year old, said something funny the other day. I’ll have to check with the hubby to be sure, but I think it was something along the lines of calling her brother a dumbass. Nice. Really nice. There’s nothing funnier than hearing kids swear in my book. (which is why I secretly love South Park). How do you discipline a kid for something like that, when really you want to laugh your ass off?

Tomorrow’s the big day for Mr. F.A.C. (fat ass cat) aka Lynkx the cat. Tomorrow, he goes for his summer haircut. I wonder if I can convince the groomer to put all of that hair in a ziplock bag so I can show you all…..

How’s that for an update? Too long? Hey, YOU asked for it!!